Hello everyone,

As I become one of late-graduates-but-need-experience, I feel that this is the biggest dilemma that I ever feel. As life give me some way, I just feel this dilemma gone bigger and I can't voice it in my social media anymore. So here I am. This writings will didn't have any formatting since It'll be my talk only.

As people near me already know, I come to psychology (and dig a grave for computer thingy) because of autism. I come to research about autism, learn more about what psychology come to them (since disability education one just cover how to teach them). Years have come. I learn, try to going to organization, and search for school where I can see some autistic development. My interests in autistic teenagers is growing. But, I found some difficulties. First of all, I'm really didn't know how to write academically with my campus standard. There's a course of writing a good research, but the method of learning is just. so. much. make. me. disoriented than before. Second, I can't find a mentor. Even some of my friend is reluctant when I asked about my proposal draft.

I have little light when I have one schools where I ever in works with them. I also help an organization that consists of parents of children with disabilities.  But again, how I can do that without knowledge of academic writing and good relation with lecturer (I suddenly remember my problem last semester lol)? I also find some institution that provide some basic learning about autistic therapy and environment, but again they not provided enough information like exact location (often), how they priced, and others. Some of them really priced higher than my average life cost now. So, yeah.

Now, about what it matters with skills.

What I learned much from my school days is around technology. I learned designing since junior high school. I learned simple magazine layout from high school organization. I learning make simple html website (with localhost) from high school curriculum. When I go to organizing committee in university, I always ended up with publication and documentation, which needed to have skills in designing and photography (nowadays publication and documentation even marketing-skills-needed).  So I always ended up excel in those things than what I'm learning in campus (which is mostly theories and test administration). 

So, when I go to big organization, those skill is the one who make me selected (other than the things that I wanted to do a.k.a researching the autistic and environment around them). I even choose to lead a information and communication team (those skills again) because I excel. Because of my skills, one of my senior is offering me to help doing a education startup (that's start as blogger forum). Although for this one also because my blogging experience. From this job, I find some digital marketing training, like copywriting for example. And. some. of. the. starter. is. really. free. affrodable. And the circle I find there is more willing to share than some of my campus friend even some of parents.

Digital industry for me is so much fishy, but I don't think that I'm gonna venture into that much.

I still wanted to be autistic psychologist. I still wanted to help them to make them have more power to their life. My major can't be wasted if I just dig my grave for autism and start learning technology again.

What must I do?

Venturing into something I wanted and love : helping autistics

Or

Going with skills that I acquired : design, brand, copywriter?

Note : My hobby a.k.a writing is still there. Blog really help much, but I still hiatus in writing fiction.